Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city