oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.