We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.