We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
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Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.