We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".