I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him