We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend