All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something