All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
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i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
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I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something