Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever