Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
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You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
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you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever