I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
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Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
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he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.