I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?