is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Holy sore nipples Batman
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom