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She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
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