In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
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should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
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Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate