With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?