I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.