She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia