my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
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why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..