dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
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we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
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