A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked