Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.