Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...