NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"