Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem