I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.