Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
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Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
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I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.