Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
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Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
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Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests