What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs