He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
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she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
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Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.