He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.