Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.