my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...