Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (915)

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  so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on

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  who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me

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  (915): so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on (1-915): who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me http://tfl.nu/h8za
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  dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop

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  (915): dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop http://tfl.nu/1szd
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  What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin

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  (915): What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin http://tfl.nu/xzqi
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  Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?

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  (915): Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere? http://tfl.nu/8ktc
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  After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.

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  (915): After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't. http://tfl.nu/4b73
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  Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.

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  (915): Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me. http://tfl.nu/qov1
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  I told you I was good to drive

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  dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

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  (915): I told you I was good to drive (1-915): dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate http://tfl.nu/7qaj
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  Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"

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  (915): Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches" http://tfl.nu/07la
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  i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure

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  (915): i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure http://tfl.nu/p6xi
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  I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic

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  (915): I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic http://tfl.nu/4fd0
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  You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs

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  (915): You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs http://tfl.nu/qhlh
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  Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired

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  (915): Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired http://tfl.nu/r2a7
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  at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?

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  (915): at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes? http://tfl.nu/vnu1
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  when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up

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  (915): when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up http://tfl.nu/inqg
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  I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper

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  (915): I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper http://tfl.nu/xgjg
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