when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat