I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced