People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
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Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
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Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...