Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New Jersey (908)

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.

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  (908): her vagina looked like a handful of raisins. http://tfl.nu/5whx
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  do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?

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  (908): do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card? http://tfl.nu/jvvm
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  considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one

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  (908): considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one http://tfl.nu/66eb
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  I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends

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  (908): I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends http://tfl.nu/6cx1
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  so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?

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  (908): so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts? http://tfl.nu/ocmm
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  he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?

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  (908): he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one? http://tfl.nu/z1d1
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  the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father

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  i think girls just don't want to fuck you

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  (908): the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father (973): i think girls just don't want to fuck you http://tfl.nu/fr5s
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  its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night

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  (908): its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night http://tfl.nu/akir
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  So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.

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  (908): So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college. http://tfl.nu/jk80
  Replies (29) Good night (745) Bad night (4704)
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  he told me I talked like a deaf person

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  (908): he told me I talked like a deaf person http://tfl.nu/v63x
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  i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back

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  that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart

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  (908): i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back (914): that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart http://tfl.nu/d09e
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  is wine microwaveable?

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  (908): is wine microwaveable? http://tfl.nu/o7ks
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  Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.

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  (908): Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life. http://tfl.nu/04rm
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  So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.

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  (908): So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning. http://tfl.nu/ff78
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  wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes

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  (908): wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes http://tfl.nu/2bzs
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