Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (908)

Last Night in New Jersey (908)

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Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.

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(908): Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral. http://tfl.nu/35ny

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once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed

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(908): once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed http://tfl.nu/z8ll

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I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.

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(908): I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool. http://tfl.nu/5y98

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it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.

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(908): it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season. http://tfl.nu/4nsl

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He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"

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What's this douchebags name?

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Rob...

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(908): He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!" (973): What's this douchebags name? (908): Rob... http://tfl.nu/raez

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don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."

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(908): don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..." http://tfl.nu/9x9f

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i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this

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(908): i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this http://tfl.nu/3v1s

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This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.

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(908): This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/5cs7

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Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.

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(908): Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat. http://tfl.nu/zq2c

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he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.

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(908): he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me. http://tfl.nu/x367

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Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.

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(908): Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too. http://tfl.nu/4y2n

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All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.

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(908): All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me. http://tfl.nu/8azw

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Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.

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Fuck I'm high.

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(908): Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles. (908): Fuck I'm high. http://tfl.nu/titc

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he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest

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(908): he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest http://tfl.nu/7o2d

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He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment

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(908): He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment http://tfl.nu/mluf

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Last Night in New Jersey (908)

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