Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.