was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.