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Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
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