Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.