Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.