something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"