something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"