he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone