he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone