my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I think this conversation is over.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!