The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I would fuck him just for his dog
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
dude. I can hear the air.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"