I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first