Last Night in Massachusetts (857)

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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  he had to chose between the booze and condoms

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  what did he choose?

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?

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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'

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• (516): View more from New York

  It was kind of weird

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  What did your mom walk in?

  (516): View more from New York

  She flung her tampon across the room.

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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.

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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?

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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!

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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other

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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?

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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Yo quero taco bell

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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!

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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.

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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash

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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.

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