Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (781)

Last Night in Massachusetts (781)

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I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.

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(781): I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. http://tfl.nu/mkrc

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she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.

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(781): she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser. http://tfl.nu/fqkl

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So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......

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(781): So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one....... http://tfl.nu/w37i

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I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.

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(781): I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin. http://tfl.nu/37ur

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the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........

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(781): the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away.......... http://tfl.nu/eso1

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Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse

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(781): Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse http://tfl.nu/l7qs

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I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.

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(781): I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy. http://tfl.nu/bakf

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my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about

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(781): my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about http://tfl.nu/1vap

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im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose

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(781): im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose http://tfl.nu/q51l

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tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.

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(781): tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner. http://tfl.nu/1bdt

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Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?

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Umm..who the fuck is this?

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Oh shit

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(781): Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them? (617): Umm..who the fuck is this? (781): Oh shit http://tfl.nu/ik4c

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I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.

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(781): I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece. http://tfl.nu/l6if

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he breathalyzed me before we had sex.

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(781): he breathalyzed me before we had sex. http://tfl.nu/k1vd

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Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.

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(781): Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave. http://tfl.nu/vplg

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she just took adderol and chased it w dog water

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(781): she just took adderol and chased it w dog water http://tfl.nu/pwol

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Last Night in Massachusetts (781)

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