He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
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you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
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When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.