at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
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So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
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I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.