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he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
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