Last Night in Missouri (417)

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  That's because you are an idiot.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  quadriplegic porn is always funny

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  no. no its not

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  p.s. you have a small clit

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I can't feel my brain.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!

  (806): View more from Texas

  wasnt one 13?

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?

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