Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.